Dear Edith

My mother and father separated when I was one. My mother remarried when I was five and her new husband adopted me. After 30 years my mother still has very strong feeling of dislike for my biological father. Her current husband is walking me down the aisle for my wedding. I am inviting my biological father and his wife, his sister and his mother. He approached me with an idea. He would like to invite 8 additional people (whom I know and would want there also) and he would not mind paying for the 8 plus the previous mentioned 4. I am terribly nervous about approaching my parents with this idea (they are paying for the reception). My mother keeps saying he is just a guest and that is how my biological father views the situation as well.

Another snag is that my mother and current father do not want me to recognize my biological father with a boutonierre. I don’t agree with that. Help!


My dear, I am sorry you are in such an unfortunate predicament. Someone needs to tell your mother to back off and let bygones be bygones. She should try to make your wedding day a happy occasion for you. I suggest you discuss this situation with your minister who should be trained to handle this type of predicament. Good advice coming from him may ease the situation for you. I hope this helps.