Bridal Shower Out of Control
Dear Edith
My best friend is getting married and she has made me her maid of honor. It’s beginning to feel less like an honor, however, and more like a pain.
I am in the process of planning her bridal shower and asked her for a list or women to invite. From what I understand, if I am throwing this party, it should be for her family and close friends. To my shock, her mother-in-law-to-be, gave her a list of 45 women from the groom’s side to invite. That’s more than the bride has on hers! It is also quite a financial burden to put upon me.
I feel that should the groom’s mother want all these guests, she should either help with the costs or throw a separate shower. Is that too much to ask? And what would be a tactful way of approaching her? Please, I need some help on this issue.
Thank you,
Kelly C
Answer
You are absolutely right! A list of 45 women is going way overboard. You need to tell her with a big smile on your face that you had planned to have a shower for XX number of people and would she please cut her list to XX of guests?
Or you may add that perhaps one of her friends would like to give a shower for the friends on her list? Or that the place you have chosen won’t accomodate that many people. You need not be apologetic. I hope this helps.
-Edith
Bridal Shower for Second Marriage
Dear Edith
I am a divorcee. This is my fiance’s first marriage. My sister was the Maid of Honor in my first wedding and I have asked her to be the Maid of Honor in this wedding. Does she need to throw a bridal shower for me or would that be something my fiance’s side would throw?
Answer
It is not a requirement to have a bridal shower, and it is usually not given by a close member of the family, mother, sister because it seems too “grabby” if you forgive the expression! Friends on either side of the family may offer to host a shower if they wish. I hope this helps.
-Edith
Bridal Shower Guests
Dear Edith
Do grooms usually go to the bridal shows or is that just a bride/girl thing?
Answer
This is usually a bride/girl thing.
-Edith
Bridal Shower: Inviting the Stepmother
Dear Edith
Do you have to invite the stepmother of the groom to the bridal shower?
Answer
Yours is a tricky question. Is the groom’s mother in the picture? How do the two women get along? There are no hard and fast rules here, only your own good judgement. I hope this helps.
-Edith
Shower Gift from Mother of the Groom
Dear Edith
As mother of the groom, should I give a gift at each of the showers for the bride?
Answer
There are no hard and fast rules here. If you wish, you could give an item within your budget, or some little treat you prepared yourself. I hope this helps.
-Edith
Wedding Thank You Notes
Dear Edith
How long after both a bridal shower and wedding does the bride have to send out thank you notes? Bridal shower was July 14th, and wedding was August 25th.
Answer
Thank you notes should have been sent as soon as gifts were received. However, better late than never! Please send thank you notes NOW! I hope this helps.
-Edith
Wedding Shower Guests
Dear Edith
We are trying to keep the guest list down to keep cost down and be more intimate. Is it okay to invite poeple to a shower and not the wedding??
Answer
Sorry my dear, but it is not OK to invite people to a shower and not to the wedding!
-Edith
Who Should be Invited to the Shower?
Dear Edith
I am the Maid of Honor in my friends non-traditional wedding in Jamaica. Only a few close friends and family members will be attending. I’m not sure how to plan a bridal shower and who to invite since this is so non-traditional and not all friends/family will be attending the wedding.
Could you please advise me on who should be invited and suggest some ideas for a shower for such a non-traditional wedding. Thanks.
Answer
People who are not invited to a wedding are not supposed to be invited to a bridal shower! Why not just plan a luncheon or tea instead for close family and friends if you wish. I hope this helps.
-Edith